she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
