You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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