just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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