those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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