I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
