doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
