i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
