...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Yo dont text me then not text me
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
