sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
