Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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