Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
