you win again, gameday.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
