I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
