i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
