You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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