just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
