Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
