I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Oh god it's open bar.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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