Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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