Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
