is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
