That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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