i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
