we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
