i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I could make wine with my vomit
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
