No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
