i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
