Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
