On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
