no, he came in my armpit
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize