Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
