Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
