Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
