Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
