I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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