I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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