so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
