Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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