There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
