i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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