I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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