i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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