So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
