Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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