just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
