You work out of a Hotel?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I'm really busy with my period
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