Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Fuck appropriateness.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
