He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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