so explain again why im purple
no
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize