Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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