How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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