Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize