alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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