I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
