shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
