no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
