the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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