Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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