Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
vagina is talking i cant
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
