I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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