She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We are two peas in an std pod
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize