that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize