so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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