lets start a swedish sibling band together
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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