We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
