I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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