your room smells of hookers.
And success
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
