We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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