meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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