and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize