Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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