I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
