she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
