So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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