Soap is not a condiment
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
