this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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