Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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