Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
