thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
